When a Snow ball defeat you!

Crying out to God is so refreshing. I feel today as if my mind is free and my heart is lite. I know my difficulties are not all gone, but it sure feels that way today. I needed this break. I so needed to cast all my cares on Jesus. I was drowning in unbelief, self pity, and lack of self-worth. Not a pretty place to be. I just cannot carry it anymore, not even a little bit. It so defeats me. I am tried of thinking I can make this better, I cannot, no matter how I try to ease the pain, or make things right, it fails. I picture it like this. Me at the bottom of a hill with snow on it. I start packaging this small snow ball, which I can control, and fix, so I go to the next phase. I put it down in the snow and start to role up it up the hill. Everything seems find and it feels like I have control of it, It's getting better. As I progress up the hill the snow ball is getting bigger and now it is getting harder to push and my feet start to slip, but I still have control, and I continue to push it up hill. Then before I know it the issues and problems are so big and over whelming that the snow ball roles back over top of me and I am left defeated and sliding back to the bottom hurt and feeling so tried as if I cannot go on. For some reason I continue to do this over and over again. So now you know where I am today, I am not making that snowball, I'm not trying to fix the problems. I am letting God make the snowball, I am just walking up the hill, trusting God to fulfill his promises. I like this feeling. Thank you Lord for this rest, please help me to love this place and never make another snowball!